My Obsession with Money
I’m obsessed.
Swirling thoughts move through my brain like thoroughbred horses racing around the corner of a white picket fence, ready to be fed by the love of being in movement.
If I retire at sixty-five, I need to save sixty-nine thousand dollars a year, but if I retire at seventy-two, I only have to save forty thousand dollars a year.
I create scenario after scenario of how I want to build and live financially. It’s like a Rubik’s cube, and I don’t actually want to find a solution, as I am getting high on the process.
I used to hate spreadsheets. I despised them and thought they were for boring accountants who didn’t know how to have any fun. I am the definition of fun. Or at least I used to be in my 20s and early 30s before I fell in love with spreadsheets.
Big dreams and little financial foundation provided for a disastrous few years into adulthood. In addition, my father was indicted on felony charges over a financial crime. He incurred no monetary gain but huge financial penalties, which lit a gasoline tank on the fire flame around economic insecurity in our home.
An obsession with money is born. But is it really about the money, or is the obsession with money a mask for what tenderness lies beneath?
I lean into two-way prayer and become curious about what wisdom my guides have to offer.
Dear Love,
What would you have me know about my obsession with money?
KS
Dear Love Bug,
You are obsessed with your relationship to safety. Let’s focus on that. You believe that if you think nonstop about money, you are really obsessing about safety, and if you obsess enough about safety, then you will be safe.
Safe from any massive destruction, like an unplanned felony or medical emergency. What if, instead, your obsession with safety became an attractor for your safety to be constantly tested and even compromised?
Have you noticed how other areas of your life where you have complete trust and faith go smoothly? For example, COVID. Remember how everyone lived in such fear, and you just focused on caring for yourself and refused to lean into fear? We guided you through those three years, and you turned that time into a spectacular exploration of yourself and home through traveling through the United States. You took impeccable care of your health and trusted your body.
So what if you focused more on trust, faith, and inspiration? Lean into your curiosity rather than clinging to obsessive fear. You have always been provided for generously, beyond generously. You also love to give generously, and that is fantastic.
Why wouldn’t you be given as much, if not more, than you offer? Why wouldn’t your ability to receive not be the same? Look at where you are right now. You live in paradise! It is a beautiful place to be.
Map out your wants and desires, and allow me to do the rest. You do not need to do anything. You can relax a little—actually, you can relax a lot. Have more fun.
Love,
Love
What does your inner unconditional love have to say about your obsession with (blank)?